Sunday 21 December 2008

All the Humans are Sick

Last night's party goes well, and there's some good net gains for dogs, along the lines of skeletal remains of poussins (excluding long bones, of course), and a bit of smoked salmon. Some of this comes as as "wrapped around Meggie's vetoryl" treats. Meggie, as you know, has to have a vetoryl capsule each day, and it is Dad's habit to give her this with a treat wrapped around it, early morning as he goes off to work.

Normally this is a bit of ham, bacon , cold meat or cheese (if the cheese is too crumbly to "wrap" it is squidged into a ravioli shaped pillow with a suspiciously medicinal flavoured centre. This morning though, it's a little curl of smoked salmon. Of course, Haggis and I also get one (without the fancy centre) to make it fair.

In fact Meggie is dead easy to sneak a pill to, as she trustingly takes the treat in the first offering. Dad likes to think that this is just her trusting nature (Daddy would never try to poison me, because I'm his favourite!). I suspect that the truth is that she doesn't care as long as it's cheese she's being given, or ham, bacon, meat, chorizo, salmon, or basically anything edible.....

Haggis is a very different kettle of fish, and strongly suspects that any treat (including the dried-meat "we-came-back-indoors" ones) might contain a worming tablet which would give him belly ache. He therefore takes the treat between his teeth, and puts it down on the floor, before, nipping it into a dismembered state to check and only eats it once it has been dissected and ruled free from all medicinal elements.

However, what he isn't is "devious" and after dissecting treat "A", he then does a slightly less careful probe of treat "B". Treat "C" he will then trust and swallow enthusiastically. I will leave you to decide whether you think humans are more cunning that the average H-Man, and where they might hide the medicine.

Me? So far, I've only had injections as far as I know. Dad tells me I'm much toooooo young for him to be sneaking me worming pills and that I have nothing to worry about.

Perhaps the humans should learn from all this. They all seem to be sick with flu at present. Dad is just getting over what he describes as "Man-flu", and Mum just going down with it. Of the 7 who were at our dinner party last night, 4 were sick. For a while it looked like they'd all blow out, but in the end they decided to all gather and swap virusses and secondary infections along with the Christmas gifts and champagne (and smoked salmon aqnd poussins etc already listed, plus a rather splendid lemonny polenta cake, of which we were allowed to have some crumbs).

Crumbs too small to hide any pills, but not so sure about these man-flu virusses. Can dogs get that?

Ahhhh- tchoo!


No comments: