St Valentine's Day Massacre

Today, a 'shaggy dog' story. The pups are 8 months old now and have only ever had scissor trim cuts around their eyes and bums; never a proper buzz-cut with the clippers. If you know the West Highland White Terrier breed, you will know that these dogs do not moult, so they need a hair cut every couple of months to prevent them turning into Dulux Dogs and over-heating in the summer.

Many people take them to professional dog groomers for a hair cut and beauty treatment (toe nails etc) but in Kent we were finding that this could be as much as £35 per dog per time, and with three dogs that was going to be an expensive proposition. We also found that we lived 20 minutes drive away from the European Service Centre for the 'Wahl' company who make a good type of professional clipper. It's in Whitstable. A decent set of clippers, 10+ years ago was £75, so it would pay for itself in one 'round' of cuts. Furthermore Wahl do a cutting-head replacement service as a sharpening-method - you take in your blunt heads and for about a fiver (10 years ago), they replace them with a sharpened head

I quickly decided that I would clip my own dogs and invested in a clipper plus some good quality scissors and thinning 'shears' (like 2 sharp combs meeting), plus oil for the clippers. I saved a chunk of a pond liner we were then installing as a non-skid mat and a big tupperware pot to keep all this gear in, and I have had it ever since, through Megan and Haggis, Deefer and now Towser and Poppy.

I am a long way from being a professional quality groomer and cannot give you a show-standard dog, but they get a hair cut and are much cooler in the summer. Sometimes they might be a bit embarrassed and hate me for the sticky-out tufts and missed bits, but they never complain.

I was asked today how you do it. I (rightly or wrongly) always clipper 'with the grain' (i.e. from shoulders down towards tail and from spine to flanks down the sides. When I was first shown, I was told you do necks against the grain and with a less-tall clipper head, but I have since been told not to. I use the same size head for necks and body. I always do the heads with scissors as the dogs are never impressed by the clippers rattling too near their face and eyes, and I do bums, faces, Towser's 'pizzle' and vulnerable bits like armpits and groins with the scissors also.

I possibly rush the job but I can do both pups in about an hour and a half total. They've probably had enough by then, so I let them down off the table, make a big fuss of them and give them a treat, and then let it all 'bounce back' for 24 hours before tidying up any howlers with scissors. As I said, I am not brilliant and after ten years plus, I still struggle to produce a good and 'proper' head shape and I am not very good at blending the clippered flanks with the scissor-trimmed (and much longer) "feathering" on bellies and legs.

The thinning shears come into play at the end as I try to iron out any edges and corners which are too sharp.

I think they look OK and I am happy to walk them in public plus, every time I do them I always feel I have saved myself £105 for the three.

There you have it.

Sailing Orphans

When Mum was telling Diamond all about Dad going sailing on Friday, she referred to herself as a "Sailing Widow". On that basis we must be Sailing Orphans by now, as Dad is off sea-faring again. This time he blags his way on board SB Greta for her run from here round to Whitstable where she will (the Skipper hopes) be based right round to October enjoying a successful Summer of chartering.

Dad has to meet the barge at 09:00. They must shuffle ropes and un-bury themselves from behind SB Repertor before motoring gently down the creek to the Swale. It's a lovely warm sunny day with little breeze. That's OK with Dad because in these gentle conditions, Steve the owner-skipper trusts Dad with the helm as he and 1st Mate Rob hoist the topsail and drop a leeboard. Dad reckons he's about 8th Mate behind those two, various family members and the two dogs, Alfie and Ludo (who we've met).

Dad then gets to keep the helm all way down the Swale and Eastwards and then south (including a deliberate "dough-nut" allowing the topsail, which has to be on the starb'd side of the boat to be lowered, to get there with a southerly wind) till they are actually inside Whistable harbour mouth. With big solid walls looming and some jiggery pokery needed with an anchor dropped so that the barge can be swung round the anchor into the correct position for berthing port-side in (head to wind), Steve takes over, and Dad is only too happy to surrender the wheel!

All home safe and sound now - although Dad snuck off again to get some route directions for an upcoming 2CV convoy round Grove Ferry, Reculver and Sarre windmill.

It's all go round here (unless you're a dog!)

Deefski