Professional Photographer

With the professional photographer from the Estate Agent due tomorrow and Mum critically appraising some of the pictures already up on their website ("Some of them haven't even made the beds!") this weekend has seen a mad flurry of de-cluttering and 'stage managing' the rooms likely to be depicted. Our normal style in this house is to live among a clutter of "stuff" - newspapers put down over there, too many coats hanging on the coat rack, work-diaries, security pass card on lanyard and pens on the mantle piece, book shelves over-stuffed with books we'll never refer to again wedged in all ways, empty fruit bowls, shoes in the hearth and so on.

You should see it now! The shelves are stripped of all but a few token books. The theory is that because most people these days are not bookie, a room that shouts 'Books!' too loud gives them a bad (non-buying) vibe; likewise a clutter of doggie stuff or children's toys. You need, we are told, to gently suggest 'family' or 'clever and educated' or 'fit and healthy' or 'good food' but in a way where the potential buyer's subconscious can edit it out and move on to noticing things they could do with the place.

So, books are being purged (bagged and boxed and lugged upstairs pending a formal "what's in Erroll and what's out" sort out), mantle shelves stripped, glasses, crocks and cutlery being rendered 'out of shot', dog-stuff (gasp) being written out of history and everything else seriously "audited". The fire hearth and grate are back up from the shed but all tools are down there.

Cleaning, hoovering, polishing are the order of the day and even weeds and plants which have dared lean across the garden paths are being judiciously controlled. Mum has even taken a few test-photos (see above) which have been scrutinised like our Reconnaissance Officers did with aerial photos of enemy V2 sites in the war (OK, slight exaggeration there, she didn't actually get the light-table and high-definition magnifier out!).

Mum has an ongoing running joke with her Irish chums on the interweb about what bits of lifestyle are "Cafflick" and which bits "Proddingstant".We are definitely on the Proddingstant end of the spectrum right now. Wish us luck tomorrow.

Deefs