Human Diets

Human diets - we dogs love them. Mum and Dad were off yesterday for a "gathering of the clans" family meal (at the Queen's Head in Icklesham, if you're interested, and Dad is happy to recommend it . www.queenshead.com ). They tend to serve big portions, and yesterday a lot of the rels chose either the turkey, or the great big slab of venison

Being humans just before Christmas and worrying about their waistlines, a good few of them couldn't finish theirs off and both Dad's Auntie Sylvia (who goes in for dalmatians) and Dad are always equipped with a few plastic bags in their back pockets for dog kind of reasons. So they split the left over booty between them and tonight we dined very nicely on real meat mixed in with our "Butchers' Tripe" tinned. Yum

I am a bit lame at present. There is a (totally unfounded in my view) suspicion that I have been battling with Haggis as we charged down the stairs and I have come a cropper and pulled a muscle. I now do a good line in looking pathetic with front right paw raised slightly. Dad says he knows it's nothing serious because I'm such a squealing drama queen if I have a real sharp pain (or the vetgives me an injection), and he has poked, prodded, flexed and squeezed and got no noisy reaction, so they are just easing off our walks till I am better.

Deefs

Exhibit A

I have been convicted once more on the thinnest of grounds. My photo is of "Exhibit A" as produced by the Counsel for the Prosecution, to whit, one electric toothbrush, chewed. M'Lud! What does that prove. "Deefer ...... (sonorous resounding tones) .... you are an habitual criminal who accepts arrest as an occupational hazard, and presumably regards enprisonment in the same casual manner....."

I mean, Gor Blimey Mary Poppins - just coz ....

a) It was chewed
b) It had been at pup level on the charger
c) The bits were all in my bed
d) I chew stuff
e) They end up in my bed in bits

I do not feel this is grounds for suspicion, never mind conviction. Mum will not cuddle me tonight - "Go away! You ate my Toothbrush!"

Meanwhile, the garden is a flying school for dozens of baby starlings. Dad was wondering how come the suet blocks on the bird feeder went down so quickly. Mum pointed out that there were three baby starlings lined up along the top, and a parent bird clinging to the mesh, ripping bits off and passing them the 2 inches up to the babies. Hardly a struggle for survival. Not quite, wresting a living from the parched ground. Not nature red in tooth and claw, birds clinging onto life by the skin of their teeth.

Mind you, the humans can't talk. I think we're on the venison steaks tonight on the terrace. If they're lucky it won't tank down with rain. We'll be lucky if we see any. I don't know. The way they treat convicts these days - it's criminal

Have a great weekend

Deefs